Welcome To Channel 5

If B&M Was A Television Channel-We Would Be It

We're A Bit Like The Sun or The Daily Star-But Only In Television Form

Take A Look At Our Great Team of Presenters

1. Alexei Sayle- I may look perfect and that's what I am. I am so priveleged to be the face of this tabloid channel, that I will devote my life to air fryers, oh I love you Channel 5.

2. Jeremy Vine- Taking over people is my favourite pasttime. In the last 20 years, I have took over Jimmy Young, Dermot Murnaghan, and Matthew Wright. My brother is a very funny and jovial fellow. I may appear staunch and robot in moves, but don't worry, it'll worsen over time. In order to be "hip", "wicked", "cosmic", "ace" and "down with the kids" etc, I wear Hawaiian shirts, because you were the coolest of the cats in 1968. Next year I'll be turning 25, so wish me good look.

3. Rusty Lee- I'm Rusty Lee, I cant complete a whole sentence without--ha ha ha, oh I need to get my breath back. I suffer from chronic la-a-a-ughing syndrome, along (huff) with air fryer addiction syndrome. I'm crazy energetic and I am slightly mad (huff-ho). I mean a-air fryers are the greatest invention of the 20th centrury-ha ha ha ha (huff).

Here at Channel Shite-sorry we mean 5, we are here to bring you quality programming. Just take a look at what is on this Friday night:-- --1.Air Fryers- Do you really need them. Alexei Sayle investiagates the air-fryer trend, along with Rusty Lee. We cook pizza and melt chocolate in an air fryer, and put Aldi chocolate to the test with Lindt-do you know which one will win?

2.Air Fryers- Which One To Get? Alexei Sayle, and Rusty Lee investigate the different types of air fyers, along with stars Owain from BBC Weather and Mary Berry. Is it a Ninja, Tower of Tefal? Stay tuned to find out........

3.M&S At Easter- How Do They Do It? Our team looks into the secrets of Britains' most beloved' shop chain and see how their products cannot compare to anywhere else. We'll be diving into the trade secrets of M&S and seeing their interesting tactics.

4.Aldi At Easter- How Do They Do It? Join us as we go on a quest to find out the secrets of Aldi at Easter and how they can be so competitive. How do their chocolates compare to those out of M&S, and how do they get voted Britains' cheapest' supermarket of the year? Stay tuned and find out tonight.

5.Bargain Lovin' Brits In Da Sun- Jean from Hartlepool, decided to go with her husband, John to Benidorm. They play bingo in the British areas with their 20 year old friend Jason, and order 50 packets of Marlboro and Regal along the way. Guaranteed for fat people at middle age.

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